Wow! Woman Insists To Keep Calm And Carry On And Bravely Refuses To Be Upset By Something That Didn’t Happen To Her

In an incredible show of bravery today, a young woman turned to social media to declare that she would not be perturbed by an unfortunate event that did not impact her.

Hannah Benjamin, 24, was at work when she heard about the terrorist attack in Lower Manhattan, New York. Refusing to be cowed and undeterred by people currently dying, she went to Twitter and Facebook to make an impassioned speech about how New Yorkers would not be affected by this tragedy. She wrote:

“Today 8 people were murdered about a mile from my office. I passed the scene of the crime on the way to Starbucks, where I bought a Pumpkin Spiced Latte and a Chicken & Quinoa Protein Bowl for my dinner. I was fine. I checked my phone to see anxious texts from my mom, which I ignored. What was she panicking about? I wasn’t involved. I am resilient and strong in the face of a terror I have not experienced yet. We must all keep calm and carry on.

After my dinner, I went to a yoga class. Everyone should go to yoga, for $20 a session, 3 times a week, as it helps keep you calm in the face of adversity like this. Look at how calm I am after a tragedy that didn’t affect anyone I personally know. I’m fine. Keep calm and carry on doing yoga, that’s what I say.

New Yorkers are strong. We will not be affected by this event. We will all carry on as normal. Except for the people that lost their lives and the families. But I’m fine. I am strong. Thanks to all the yoga I do.”

Wow, simply inspiring stuff. Thank you Hannah, you really showed those terrorists!

  • ZipInKent

    What a stalwart.

  • I’m assuming that this Hannah Benjamin is taking the mick. Please, someone, tell me that she isn’t serious.

  • LibertyBelle

    What a brave courageous woman who should be admired by……….no one.

  • David Brodman

    I admire her bravery and not letting pesky things like terrorism interfere with her Yoga workout. A true role model for liberals.

    • Miss Mensa

      She’d better hope her yoga class isn’t bombed.

  • Fredroe

    No feeling, no sympathy, no emotion, sounds like a sociopath to me.

    • Miss Mensa

      Most libtards are.

  • Tom T

    I hope and pray she is a very funny young lady

  • Miss Mensa

    Let me guess…she’s a libtard?

  • Rüdiger Thiede

    I’m not sure what’s funnier: the article, or the commenters who didn’t grok that it’s satire.