PUAssholes #7: The Pickup Game!

In today’s video, I’m digging up a nice little time capsule of early 2000s pickup: Newgrounds‘ Pick-Up Game. It is a dating sim (or rather a pick-up sim) that embodies everything wrong with millenarian PUA activity.

In other words, I’m returning to my old wheelhouse, I used to do video game reviews after all, and you can still view those in my Youtube channel.

This is very much pickup in the “Mystery Method/Neil Straussian” mold, and it’s every bit as bad as you’d expect from that description.

So we’re greeted by our mentor, a guy who looks disturbingly like a bald Mystery. Says he, “YOU MIGHT BE AN AFC BUT YOU CAN BE AN MPUA AND GET THOSE SHBS.”

“But if I’m an AFC how can I be an MPUA to get the SHBs because I’m too busy watching the NFC and I can’t BBQ in the OBGYN with my LRC and the BBC and I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU GUYS DON’T DO THIS.”

Acronyms aside…accompanying not-Mystery is terrible generic music. He tells me to go the bar, regardless of whether or not I actually want to.

But believe me, it picks up after all of that. You might notice a few issues in the video that may not be to your liking. The first of which is that the resolution is somewhat poor, that’s because I recorded it directly off of my computer screen, my apologies. The second is that I might sound somewhat phlegmy at parts in the video, that’s because I have been feeling somewhat under the weather. The things I do for you people…

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About Larsen Halleck

Larsen Halleck is a physical culturist, martial artist, musician, writer, and (barely) a video reviewer and cartoonist a man of many talents and moderate wages corresponding to said talents. You can also follow him on Twitter, on Gab or on his Youtube channel where he gives how-tos on fitness/martial arts, and talks nerd stuff.