Pro Wrestling Finishing Holds (Kung Fail)

“Judo” Gene Lebell is considered a legend of pro wrestling and martial arts, and rightfully so. This terrible video was not part of his legend.

…Thus as I am about to review Gene Lebell’s Pro Wrestling Finishing Holds Volume 1, I want to make something quite clear: Gene Lebell is a legend in the martial arts world and rightfully so. A pioneer of American martial arts post World War 2, and the winner of the first ever sanctioned mixed martial arts match in the USA in 1963, Gene Lebell has also trained several famous fighters in judo: movie stars like Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris, pro kickboxers like Benny Urquidez, and other famous martial artists like ED Parker and Gokor Chivichyan. Even at the age of 85, I have no doubt that Gene Lebell could tear me limb from limb…

But with all that being said I’m still going to review his video, because Pro Wrestling Finishing Holds Volume 1 is quite possibly the biggest slice of pre-Vince McMahon, kayfabed dickcheese I’ve ever seen in my life.

So here’s the FBI warning, presumably “legal action against the guilty party” means “Gene will come to your house and choke you until you soil yourself. He actually did that to Steven Seagal by the way.

And in case you were in danger of taking this seriously, the movie opens up with a folk song, a filk song to use the proper terminology, about how Gene Lebell is the greatest fighter the world has ever known. Presumably his fighting skills are superior to his skills as a couturier—seriously, the fuck are those yellow tights, Gene?

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